Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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