So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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