The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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