I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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