I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
