Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
