Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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