I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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