I swear god or herbie drove my car home
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
