I hate all girls vehemently.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
