Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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