I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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