is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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