thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
