Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
