dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
