My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
