I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
