Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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