so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We have so much sex to catch up on
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
