i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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