There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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