Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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