rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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