New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
