What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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