like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
