I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
