I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
