I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
