I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
