those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
