my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
