I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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