I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
