So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
