Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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