i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
When did angry sex become our thing?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize