Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
