I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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