CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
