butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
we're so committed to being not committed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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