Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
