a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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