Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
