when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
