your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
