Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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