So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
third nipple confirmed
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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