When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize