none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
