This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
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