She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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