I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
