he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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