Quick, to the slutcave!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
