doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
