It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
