Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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