he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
