What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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