I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
