Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When are your genitals available?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
