Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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