As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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