He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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