I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
