i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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