i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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