Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
