so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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